How to Put Up with Difficult Parents and Annoying Siblings!

NO! STOP! ALRIGHT, I GET IT!  We say these words a lot especially to the people we love the most, like siblings and parents. Life isn’t always easy, especially with siblings. They’re annoying you, laughing at you, calling you names.  But here's the deal, you need to shrug it off, or try something like making it into a joke instead. Parents on the other hand are a whole different story. They’re always telling you to go to bed, turn off the TV, don’t talk back, etc...  But, think about it, they are usually just trying to do what’s best for you.  They are making sure you are healthy and well, that you aren't spending so much time with electronic devices, and help you grow up to be a healthy adult.  What you have to do is make the best of things.

You can't change your parents and your can't change your siblings.  What choice do you have but to make the best of things?  But, how do you do that?  First off, change your thinking.  Fighting, arguing, saying negative comments only creates more problems.  No one wins, everyone is miserable.  Sometimes it seems like one sibling gets his/her way, but in the long wrong, everyone is angry or irritated or mad.  Changing your thinking begins the process of changing your behavior which changes, slowly, but surely, the relationships you have with others.

Ok, so you've decided to make a change in your thinking.  You are not going to try to win every argument, you are not going to irritate your siblings just for the sake of irritating them, you are not going to gripe at your parents every time they ask you to do something, just as examples.  But it seems every time you try to follow your new plans, you wind up angry and/or hurt and then back in the same old arguments and name calling.  Why?  Unfortunately, the brain makes it hard to change very emotional relationships.  The anger, the irritation, the hurt are stronger than your new thinking.  The brain is set up this way on purpose, but it can be changed!

How?  You have to rewire your brain, train it.  You do this by every day taking time to create calm, relaxing, happy thoughts.  This is like charging a battery or cell phone.  We have to plug in on a regular basis, not once we've run out power, or the device will keep quitting on us.  Every time you hook yourself up to positive, calm thoughts and feelings, they are able to keep going throughout the day more and more.  The more you plug in, the stronger they get.  Then, when you are faced with a challenge, you are more able to remember you want to keep thinking - "I am not going to fight back."  Or, " I can ignore this."  Or, "I can laugh this off."

Find time to sit alone in your room or at a library and just be calm.  Take a yoga class.  Put calm, relaxing music with no words on your iPod and listen while doodling.  Go for a walk.  Lie in bed and just listen to the sound of your breathing.  Then, begin to create the new, happier relationships you want in life!

 

Tammy and Carmen

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