Hi Girls! Compassion, patience, and kindness are all things we know, or have taken part in. They are easy to do toward people we love, but not always easy to do for someone who is annoying - like your little brother or the boy who sits next to you in science class! But, we have to think about reasons why they might be like they are - maybe their side of the story is different than yours. We can't change other people's behaviors, but we can change how we think about them.
We can hear you saying, "But why?! He's the annoying one! He should change!" Truth is, he might or he might not. In fact, he might change and get even more annoying! You can't do much about it, except maybe if you start feeling love and compassion which then creates patience, suddenly he does change his behavior toward you - more respect, more kindness, and yes, more compassion. Sometimes that's the only way to create change.
However, changing your mind about someone helps YOU most of all and it's easier. Irritation, anger, and hatred make us feel bad. And, even though we think the other person is causing the feeling, we can actually make it stop. We can turn it off and feel differently toward the person and then we feel the opposite of irritation, anger and hatred. We feel compassion, kindness, and love. That feels good! It doesn't mean we have to give the annoying person a big hug or kiss. It just means we don't react in anger and instead inside, we feel great!
How do we make this happen? One way is through Compassion (also known as Loving-kindness) Meditation. There are many ways to do and say Compassion Meditation, but the way we taught it in Yoga4Girls is using the words from Charity and the JamBand's version (you can download the song for free), a song called Loving Kindness:
May I be safe and sound
May I be peaceful, may I be at ease
With love in my heart and all around
The process is to think the words to self, filling yourself with love and compassion. Then, think of another person who you love and think the words to that person. It gets harder. Next, think of someone you don't know so well, maybe an acquaintance or someone you pass in the hallway. This is someone you don't really have feelings about - you neither like nor dislike them. Now, we come to the hardest one of all: think of someone difficult and think the words to that person! Sometimes it doesn't work, but just like learning to play an instrument or learning to do a cartwheel, you practice. You practice and you get better at it. It actually makes your brain stronger! Your brain gets better and better at feeling good, loving, kind, and happy! Finally, you end by sending the thoughts to everybody. Charity and the JamBand just change the word I to we: "May we be happy, may we be well......"
For the rest of our lives, there will be people we don't get along with, people whose behaviors are difficult for us to accept. It will always be that way. We can either continue to react with annoyance and anger or we can change our brains and get better at feeling love, compassion and happiness! Which do you choose?
Tammy and Carmen
PS: Check out the pictures of our fun day of learning Compassion!
